LMAOOOOOOOOO!! AHAHAH THIS IS TOO BRILLIANT!

SNL rules all, peeps.

Violence is never ok.

Lady Gaga? Epic.

fic rec! Daddy!Edward. Need I say more?

Daddy's Angel

Right. So you all remember how I was all "I'm going to write smut?"

Well, I did. And here it is. I tell you, once it started, I couldn't stop! Damn plot bunnies.

Here it is, my loves! Read it, enjoy it, pimp it, whore it out, REVIEW IT. I need to know I didn't fail tragically at my very first NC-17 piece.

Title: Patience is a Virtue
Author: mary_v
Characters/Pairing: Edward/Bella
Rating: NC-17
Category: Romance
Spoilers/Warnings: Set between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. No spoilers from BD, however. Also, in case NC-17 isn't obvious enough, this fic contains a Lemon. Sex. Hanky Panky. You name it. No children, please.
Summary: Edward frustrates Bella. Bella decides to take matters into her own hands. And we all know Edward isn't one to sit idly by.
( Under the cut! )</lj>

NEW HARRY POTTER TRAILER! I AM GOING CRAZY HERE, PPL!



Download link here.

THIS TOTALLY MADE MY DAY! LOL




It's a Grease medley/parody with the Spring Awakening cast.

"I will be performing the hand jive" LMAO!
Oh and Jonathan Groff - totally made my list of favourite actor crushes.

ETA: James Franco... you are incredibly sexy. He's getting his stories published! I know I'll be picking up a copy!

TERMINATOR:SALVATION.
NEW TRAILER.

SICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICK! I am SO EXCITED!:D

Alright, everyone. Here it is, my Never Been Kissed fic!

If you have any suggestions as to where else I could post it (other than ff.net - that's done:P), please share!

Title: Revenge is a dish best served unintentionally.
Author: mary-v
Genre: Romance/Humour. Fluff alert!. Also some action.;)
Rating: PG-13 for some (mild) swearing and sexy time.
Summary:Josie gets an invitation to her high school reunion. Pandemonium ensues.
Word Count: 4,326
Comments: This fic really just ran away with  (ETA: from) me. I felt compelled to write it after looking for some good Josie/Sam fiction and not finding much. Also, any excuses to think about Michael Vartan more than strictly necessary.;)

( Any more bright ideas? I breathed. I'm still freaking out. I swear, whoever invented high school reunions is probably behind the iron maiden. )

Via last_archangel

I have to say, it is pretty accurate! I'm usually shy when I meet new people and I don't say much! And I really suck at confrontation. Then again, I only hang out with friends, so if anyone were to insult me I just wouldn't give them the time of day.:P

Your result for The Jane Austen heroine Test...

Fanny Price

75% romance, 46% sauciness, 43% etiquette, 71% intelligence

Take The Jane Austen heroine Test at HelloQuizzy

Now I need to clean!:)

Zac Efron to propose to Vanessa Hudgens

Ok, now I honestly couldn't give a damn about them, or any other celebrity relationship, but when it comes to weddings I always care! :D Ijust want to know if you think it's true... the way they phrased it at Perezhilton.com wasn't clear as to wether it's true or if they turned it into a rumour because they can't stand the thought of their Zacquisha marrying that girl. :P

ok this Twilight Parody is just made of pee your pants funny. Edward, the 40 year old housewife.


NO I DONT THINK THAT IT IS ATTRACTIVE WHEN WOMEN SHAKE THEIR BEHINDS IN THAT MANNER

The highlights:
--
HE IS SENSITIVE
HE IS REPRESSED, MOTHER.

--

</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: LOL CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM THE DAY HE MET BELLA
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: COMING HOME ALL
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: "I FOUND THE GIRL I AM GOING TO EAT MARRY!!!!
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: I NEED TO LEAVE 4EVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: THIS IS A TRAVESTYYYYYYYY
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: EVERYTHING I HAVE WORKED FOR
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: DON'T STOP ME!! I ALMOST LOST CONTROL!!!!
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: SHE SMELLED DELICIOUS. LIKE BACON.
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: I ALMOST SAVAGED HER IN FRONT OF THE KIDS
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: NO ONE HAS EVER FELT THIS WAY
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: and emmett would just hear that
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: and be like GOOD ON YOU EDWARD
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: I AM NEVER COMING BACK AGAIN
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: NO EMMETT, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, THIS WAS AWFUL
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: WHY? IS SHE UGLY?
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: I MEAN SOMETIMES UGLY CHICKS ARE STILL GOOD IN BED

ETA: </a></b></a>saint_renegade: oh so now we are going to joke about my going to do the harry potter midnight parties
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: HOW PREDICTABLE
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: MOTHER TOLD YOU NEVER TO BRING THAT UP AGAIN
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: HARRY POTTER IS A GENTLEMAN, EMMETT
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: OR DO YOU NOT REMEMBER WHY WE HAD TO REPLACE MY DOOR.
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: THREE TIMES.
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: I REALLY LIKE THAT DOOR, TOO
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: NO I DO NOT THINK IT BIG HEADED TO THINK THAT I AM AS HANDSOME AS CEDERIC
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: IT IS JUST A FACT OF LIFE
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: YOU WOULD BE GOYLE, EMMETT
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: GOYLE!!!!!
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: LOL
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHO IS GOYLE. HE IS AN IDIOT. LIKE YOU.
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: HE THEN TAKES IT BACK
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: PERHAPS, I WAS TOO COLD, BROTHER
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: I SPOKE IN ANGER. I APOLOGIZE.
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: I REALLY WISH WE COULD GET ALONG BETTER, PERHAPS WE SHOULD JUST START FRESH?
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: BUT TOMORROW, AS I MUST GO TO THE SIDE OF MY DEAREST, GREATEST, TRUEST, ONLY LOVE
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: AND INHALE THE SWEET AIR OF HER EXHALE.
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: IT IS ALL THAT GETS ME THROUGH THESE TRYING TIMES.
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: COUNT HER EYELASHES AND PRAY SHE WILL ONE DAY ACCEPT ME FOR THE MONSTER I AM
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: you mean you have never counted rosalie's eyelashes?
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: I CAN BUT HOPE SHE OPENS HER GENEROUS HEART TO MY SHAMBLE OF AN EXISTANCE
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: NO EMMETT SHE IS ALL THAT IS SWEET AND KIND
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: THAT MIKE KID IS, AS YOU MIGHT SAY, A DICK
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: OH MY
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: he laughs
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: THAT WORD, I FEEL SO DIRTY
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: EXCUSE ME, ALL OF YOU
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: I AM SORRY
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: I MUST WASH MY MOUTH WITH SOAP
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: NO ONE MOVE
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: UNTIL I RETURN
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: I CANNOT GO TO BELLA WITH SUCH A FOUL WORD STILL ON MY LIPS
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: IT IS BAD ENOUGH THAT I THOUGHT SUCH THINGS BUT THEN TO SAY THEM? IT WILLNEVER DO
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: FORGIVE ME, ALICE
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: THAT MUST HAVE BEEN HORRIBLE FOR YOU TO HEAR
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: I AM TRULY SORRY
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: I AM GOING TO GO THINK ABOUT WHAT I DID.
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: I would understand if you were unable to speak to me for the next few days
</a></b></a>saint_renegade: IT IS WHAT I DESERVE
</a></b></a>oxymoronassoc: I AM A MONSTER.

*dies*

Damn I spammed you all today. But I had to share!!! 

Open letter to all Twilight fans.

Dear Twilighters, Fanpires, Death to Twilighters, and any other person who happens to read this post,

Alright so I haven't really been part of the Twilight fanworld for a few months now, thanks to a little thing called Escuela. And as I've been reading through you guys' posts, I've seen a division in general opinion of the books. I've got the friends who LOVE Twilight, and the one who HATE Twilight. To the latter, jsyk, the friendship is over. (/sarcasm) But seriously now. I'm curious to know. Have any of you lost friends over Twilight? Because if you have, you're idiots, sry to say. These are fictional characters. Works of fiction. I have to say, Stephen King made a rather good point about the Twilight phenomenon: "Both Rowling and Meyer, they're speaking directly to young people... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good." Whilst I disagree that Smeyer can't right (ETA: write), King's right to say that she doesn't have nearly the literary prowess that JK Rowling has. I've noticed some grammar mistakes in the books, even. Problems with sentence structure or what have you. Then again, I've read these books multiple times. 10 times in total I'd say. And that's because I love these books. They're such an easy read, and when I have an exam or a huge essay, I like to read what I know because then I won't feel the need to drop everything to finish my book. (Because when it comes to fiction, I cannot stop, people.)

Say what you will about Lord McDiscoball (aka Edward...last_archangel , I had to.:P) but I love him. And honestly, until the haters read Midnight Sun, and actually see his point of view and what he thinks about, they won't be so quick to judge him.

Then again, I think these books are ripe with comedic relief. They are so fun to mock - seriously, the whole storyline is like an opening line for a stand up comedian. I don't like to mock people, or make fun of them, or insult anyone. It's why you won't see me bashing twi-moms or the too-obsessed fans (ie, a schoolmate of mine who tattooed Be safe on her hip). Then again, I reserve the right to raise an eyebrow. Because some people seem to have taken their obsession of Twilight to the point of insanity. Literally. I was reading through last_archangel 's comments, and someone mentioned that a woman proposed to a man she'd never met or spoken with before, and all because his last name is Cullen.

And as far as naming their child Renesmee or Edward, please, PLEASE do it because you like the name, and not because you want your child to be a vampire. Honestly, Jasper and Edward are amongst my favourite names. not because of the characters, but because I happen to love Old names and original names that just sound cool. (Lucian, Jace, etc etc).

On a final note: Robert Pattinson. Yes, I know, you love him. You squee when you hear his name, faint when he speaks, and have watched the clip where he bites Tyra Banks a million times. (Because you wish that was you.) Hell, I've been know to do all that. But people, he's not Edward Cullen. He's Robert Pattinson. Rpattz. To all of you who were fans of his back when he was in Harry Potter, we need to start a club. (Ask my friend Emma - I made her watch the most horrible movie about dragons that he was in (and he saved the movie, in my opinion) and all because watching Harry Potter and the GoF a 15th time, just for his scenes was a bit much.:P)
I realize my writing that may seem a little pretentious and hypocritical, but it's not my goal. All I'm trying to say is that a lot of people hated on him when he was cast as Edward, a fact that made me quite sad. I just want to say I'm glad he has such a huge fanbase, but I don't think he wants to be associated with Edward for the rest of his life. It's kind of like the Harry Potter actors - they don't want to be seen as Harry/Hermione/Ron/what have you. They want to be seen as talented and respected actors. And we all need to try to remember that.

Anyways, sorry for the rambly and long post, but I seriously felt the need to say what I thought about these books and the characters! If anyone actually read through all this, cookies!

Time for me to get back to class!

Maria

P.S.: I think I may have to post a Supernatural letter next.:P Seriously, my flist has inspired me.:P

</lj></lj>

		I will marry Michael Vartan.
		After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Sesame Street in our fabulous Mansion.
		We will have 3 kid(s) together.
		Our family will zoom around in a rubine Porsche.
		I will spend my days as a Prostitute, and live happily ever after.

you know i'm back when these start coming back on my lj. *rolls eyes*

1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No

2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and Asks!

3. you can ask for specific details of a yes no answer. But only ONE question per LJer :-)

4. You MUST add a question for the answer yes or no to the end of the meme and answer it before you post it on

5. Tag as many people as you want to do this meme (You do not need to be tagged to gak this meme though!)

6. Remember, it is polite to say who you gakked this meme from

Taggin whoever. gakked from zoesmith 


( HAVE YOU EVER... )

In other news- streaming ALIAS is being a bitch right now. It's only on the one site - youku- and it's SO SLOW. Do not like.:(

Been a while, huh? Well, I decided to come out of my (indefinite) hiatus to recommend a book series! The Mortal Instruments by Cassanda Clare. She's even got a livejournal account. Amazing books and truly a wonderful read.

And I'm honestly sorry I've disappeared, but real life is overwhelming. I've barely had a collective 20 days off this summer and now part time work and school are proving to be a huge work load. I miss you all, though, yet I hardly expect many of you to remember me!:P

So yes:
MORTAL INSTRUMENTS//cassandraclare //MORTAL INSTRUMENTS//cassandraclare 


Well, back to my hiatus.

<3